Actually it is kind of nice being up this early, laying on my couch watching Lola watch the leaves drop from the tree in our yard. It's grey skies outside right now, the sun is taking longer to rise these days as we have officially hit fall. The current temperatures say other wise as we are still in the upper 90's most days. Why did we move down here again? LOL! Better than being in the mountains of Alberta where they have been getting snow, which I am not quite ready for that yet.
I had a great day yesterday which is the first time I really felt myself saying that in a very long time. It feels good! I got up early (as usual) and had to be a work. It was my early day and I had a full schedule which is always nice and done by 2pm. Love it! Afterwards I came home took a nap as I was tired from working late the night before, then Paul and I went for a lovely dinner el fresco for the first time since we left Champaign. It was a lovely night, with a beautiful orange glow moon.
Come to find out living in a small town has it's positives and it has it's negatives. The positives are I am developing a nice little following for my work. The downside is everyone seems to know everyone here, and if they don't know you they have heard of you. Like a real life Northern Exposure if you will. Sure you are strangers but have a familiar face. The other day Paul was at work and a co-worker of his came up to him and asked him if he just moved here from Idaho? or Iowa? or Illinois? Maybe Chicago at one point?" He told her yes we just moved her from the mid-west. She then asked if his wife worked at this well known massage therapy place. He told her yes she is a therapist there. At this point in the conversation I am sure Paul is thinking "Oh, great what did Shannon do now." LOL! Apparently I masssaged her friend the other day, and she was telling her that I gave her the best massage she ever had. WOW! She said to Paul"She knows a lot of people and has been telling everyone to go see her. That is a good thing for her!" My inner critic starts to chatter and freak out. All of the sudden I feel like the pressure is on. To be perfectly honest I have never been confident in my skills. My close friends who have been with me through massage therapy school can attest to that. I am my own worst enemy. Yet something keeps bringing me back.
When I moved to the States I couldn't work for the first 6 months while my greencard was being filed. Once I got it I just needed to find a job so I knew massage was on the back burner maybe indefinately. Over the last three and half years Paul has said over and over that he thought I should go back to it. I on the other hand wasn't so sure. Then when the opportunity came up after we moved here for me to do it, something told me I would be crazy not to try it again.
Just one problem, it has been nearly four years since I really gave a massage! Did I still have it?! Did I still remember everything?! People think it's a matter of just touching people and making them feel better. The truth is it is way more intense than that. You learn things that first year medical students learn. You have to know what to do if someone comes across your table with various conditions and how to treat them accordingly. Once I had a gentleman, I have never forgotten him. He came into a shop I worked at in Canada. His left side was paralised from and accident he had in his martial arts class. He volunteered to be part of a demonstration by his Sensei and he wasn't clear on what happened next. But apparently the guy on accident hit him in such away he hit the ground and was now paralysed on his left side. He couldn't feel hot or cold or pain. So as a therapist I have to be careful how I handle this man's pressure on his muscle as well as his neck to make sure I don't hit and unstable vertebrae and do more damage. So you see my point you just don't touch a stranger without knowing what you are dealing with.
So here we are my first night at work doing massage in 3 1/2 years. I was trained to do it 6 years ago. I was hoping it wouldn't suck. I was so nervous but as soon as I re-entered the room when my client was ready on the table it all came flooding back to me. All of the sudden my hands, forearms and elbows knew what to do. My brain got quiet and all my technical information came flooding back. It was in there after all, it just needed to be drawn out. Now usually the first thing people ask me after about 20 minutes or so into their massage is "How long have you been doing this?" When I tell them about 6 years off and on, the respond with "You can tell!" that is a major compliment to me. Your muscles have memory, that is the beauty of the human body. Sometimes you just have to quiet yourself and listen and take your time and it will come back.
The best part is that each body tells a story. You don't have to say a word. There are scars, tattoos, muscle and bone aligements out of place. Once you lay your hands on a body and start working it will tell you what is wrong with it, and how far it is comfortable in the healing process. It is the coolest thing. It helps too if the client is in tune with their body as well then they can be even more precise about what they need. One client when I first met her was so angry, she gave off just such a negative vibe. When she spoke she barked at you. I tried not to pick up on her negative energy and dropped my own ego and all of the sudden it hit me. She is in chronic pain. I could see it in her face and feel it in her muscles. I asked her if this was the case. Come to find out yes indeed she was always in pain. A good day for her was if the pain was not as bad as it could be. So together we work at reducing her symptoms, and giving her a better quality of life. Even her personality has softened a bit.
I usually don't talk during my treatments unless my clients want too, and the stories they tell! One client I had yesterday was a first for me. I was working away on her and I turn her face up and she starts telling me about how she is in her "happy place" and takes me there with her in vivid detail. I was amazed how she just invited me along in her personal meditation. There we were sitting on top of a snow capped mountain in Switzerland getting ready to take a gondola down to the village for some yummy pastries and hot chocolate. All without leaving my treatment room. These are a few on the things that keep me coming back to this.
I know I won't always be able to do this for a living, as it is the physical demand is taking a toll on my body. However I know this will lead to something else. This is just the beginning. Funny enough I also think my 3 1/2 year hiatus helped me in my practice. It gave to a chance to mature, to become even more open intuitively and to help me realize that I am just a vessel for my clients healing. They do all the work really I am just a facilitator or the catalyst if you will for what is within them.
Now Paul keeps pointing out vacant locations saying I should open my own shop. I am not so certain that myself and F'burg area ready for that. We will see what the future brings. For right now I am just doing what it feels like I need to do.
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